Are You A Dance-a-holic?


Is dancing taking over your life? Have you heard whispers among your friends that you're becoming obsessed with dance? Take this simple test, or take it on behalf of someone you care about. However painful it might be, it's time you faced the truth!

Count 1 point for every YES answer:

1. You listen to dance music at times when you cannot possibly dance, e.g., on your car stereo, on your disc-man in airplanes, etc. Give yourself an additional point if you have actually taken your hands off the steering wheel while driving to snap your fingers or clap your hands at the spot in the music where you would snap/clap if you were dancing. Ten extra points if you've had a wreck because you were so overwhelmed by the music that you forgot you were driving.

2. You practice steps (either consciously or subconsciously) when you are not actually dancing, for example, moving your feet under your desk at work, standing in line at the grocery store, in front of the mirror in a public restroom. Extra point for each time in the last month someone has caught you doing it.

3. When you are debating whether to buy a new article of clothing, a chief factor in the decision is whether or not you can wear it dancing.

4. You have heated discussions with other dancers over the proper role of aerials.

5. You go to non-dance social functions with other dancers but you cannot carry on a conversation for longer than 15 minutes without talking about dance. (This includes gossiping about people in dance class).

6. You have to explain at least once a week that you missed some over-hyped television program, a business function or social event because it conflicted with dance class. Extra point if you find yourself lying to friends or co-workers about dancing ("Um, I'm really tired. I think I'll go home early tonight. Probably take the phone off the hook so don't even try and call.")

7. What you eat for dinner depends on whether you're going dancing afterwards (nothing too heavy, no garlic or onions). Extra point if you don't drink when you go to dance clubs because it might interfere with your dancing.

8. Even though you are an advanced dancer, you drop in on the beginners dance classes at least once a month just in case they are doing a beginning dance step you've never learned. Add a point for each time one of the beginners recognizes you, comes up to you and asks you if they are doing a particular step correctly.

9. At least once a month you phone or e-mail another dancer to find out whether he/she is going to a dance class. Give yourself another point if, when you find out he/she is not going dancing, you go anyway.

10. You dance when you are home alone. Extra point if you dance in front of the mirror.

11. You plan business trips and vacations so as to avoid missing your favorite local dance classes, i.e. leaving the morning after class and/or arriving the afternoon before the class. Two extra points if you pack extra dance gear on business trips just in case your returning afternoon flight is delayed and you have to drive from the airport directly to class instead of going home to change clothes.

12. You have, at least once in the past year, spent more time driving to a dance event than you knew you would actually spend dancing, i.e. one hour each way commuting to dance less than two hours.

13. You have a regular partner who you are not dating

14. You fantasize about quitting your real job, traveling around the country going to cool clubs and dancing.

15. You rent movies because you heard there was a dance scene in them and fast forward through the plot until you get to the dancing. Extra point if you never get around to actually watching the movie.

16. You don't know the name of at least five dancers but refer to them descriptively instead as something like "The guy who usually dances with Shoshana" or "The tall blonde who wears leggings and long T-Shirts."

Extra Bonus Points: Add one point to your score for each dance-related bruise, cut,bump or other injury currently visible somewhere on your body.

Scoring

15 or more: Houston, we have a problem. Don't be surprised if your friends are organizing an intervention to help you. You can deal with the program directly by checking your phone book for the local 12-step-hop-step program in your area.

11 to 14: You are borderline. With some effort on your part you can take back control of your life without outside help. It may be enough to cut out dancing between dance classes.

6 to 10: Not to worry. You're one of those social dancers. You can take it or leave it. You can walk off the dance floor anytime. Dance-a-holics view you with suspicion.

1 to 5: Are you kidding? Are you taking this test as a joke? You probably don't know a rock-step from a pivot! Check your local dance studio for class listings.


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